The Habit of Yoga

They say if you do something continually for at least 21 days, you develop a habit. I needed a project. I needed something to help me break my addiction to smoking. I love reading Julie Powell's honest and somewhat vulgar (which makes it better, by the way) memoir Julie and Julia about her year of cooking her way through Julia Child's recipes. How it saved her life and helped turning 30 be okay.

I stood outside one day in February 2016 with my tobacco pipe. And as I had done many other times (specifically because I was terrified of getting cancer), I asked God to help me quit. This time, maybe because I was really serious (although I didn't realize how serious I was at the time), the words "do yoga" implanted in my heart. That was my last time to smoke.

Every time I got an urge, was a little overstressed, or after a big meal; I would do yoga. I was demanding on myself at first, which was probably the best way to fight back the urges. (And I am telling you right now, I am a chemical junkie. I like my caffeine and moderate amounts of alcohol and I still use nicotine lozenges. So no I am not a magic story that all of a sudden I stretched a little and became the model of health. I have my little vices. They are just better under control.)

I literally think that the best thing yoga did for me was free me from the anxiety of both the urge and the action of smoking. Sure, I would get a zing of relaxation when I puffed that pipe. But the desperation before the puff and the yucky-ness I felt after really defeated the whole purpose of it to begin with. The endorphin release of moving my body and making my body stronger is a much more beautiful euphoria than after a smoke.

My snap shot impression of what yoga has done for me so far in these seven months is the relief of teeth gritting frustration, the freedom of feeling good and energetic. It has caused me to slow down and pay attention. It has empowered me to know when to say "yes" and when to say "no". And it has grown respect in me for myself and for my body. I now understand the gifts given by God that are in me to share with others.

Yoga makes me feel beautiful. Me, with my chunky tummy and upper arms. Me, with my double chin and drooping boobies. I stand tall. I smile. I walk in a radiance that I never knew before. And I'm happy!

Now, through the habit of yoga, my body lets me know what kind of poses to do in each practice; when it’s time to drink a smoothie; when it’s time to write a reflection.

It isn’t demanding, but gentle, and I step softly into the next right thing.

Illustration by https://www.etsy.com/shop/thelilyx?ref=l2-shopheader-name